Educating Single Mothers for Empowerment

The reason why so much of emphasis is put on the education of single teenage mother is only because of this striking fact that quality professional education is the only way for women empowerment in the long run. Several non-government organizations, church organizations and individuals are now taking these mothers into consideration as deserving funding recipients, so that they can be uplifted in society. Most of the families disown the girls becoming mothers in their teen years, that is because of social norms and community as a whole discriminates with them. This is one of the sole reasons why single teenage mothers have to live in separate houses, earn money at such a young age when they have not even completed their education. Due to low education and academic profile they are bound to settle for inferior jobs that allow them only a limited or no career growth at all.

The federal and state governments in America are totally awake to the situation and a federal agency known as FAFSA has been established to keenly monitor, analyze and provide education funding opportunities to them in all American states. Although this agency is primarily devoted to providing proper educational scholarships but it also serves the cause of ascertaining the eligibility of these needy single mothers. This is based on the principle that empowerment of women through education would allow them to uplift their living standard in the long run as they would be able to get much better jobs. The educational scholarships provided by numerous agencies or resources are mostly Merit Based or Need Based. These criterion help single teenage mothers with better marks percentages in case of merit based scholarships while the applicants with really low or below threshold income are provided with need based scholarships.

Moreover, various specialized education scholarships are also offered for the single teenage mothers in America. These scholarships are mainly provided for career fields where the recruitment is relatively low as it certainly is the case for nursing, law enforcement, paramedics, and other career fields. They help the single teenage mothers in getting jobs quickly by providing them with professional training and education for career fields where jobs are much easy to find.

Provision of education to single teenage mothers therefore helps the individuals, government and entire community in lifting themselves in terms of the living standard. Investing in single teenage mothers is therefore the best way of ensuring community growth in the longer run as it would lower the poverty line and allow governments to collect more taxes as most of the individuals would be good income generators in the community as a whole.

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Single Motherhood Can Be a Comedy of Disasters

There is a certain glamour to being a single parent; or rather, a perceived glamour. On daytime talk shows such as The Oprah Winfrey Show and The Tyra Banks Show, there have been whole episodes dedicated to talking teenagers as young as thirteen out of having babies, because they think it's like having a Barbie doll, only that talks back. What they forget is that it also cries, pees, poops and refuses to sleep all night... and that's just for starters. I talked to some single parents who acquainted me with how it really
is down there in the trenches.
There is a general agreement that having a child is one of the single greatest things a human being can do, and certainly being a parent is one of the most difficult yet rewarding jobs on earth. It can also make one prematurely grey, go completely mad or want to run down the street stark naked, screaming your lungs out. Angeline* is a single parent who had her child while still living with her parents, and attending college at the same time. She had to wake up at 5am to be on the road by 6am so as to arrive at school on time. Also, since the baby also woke up at 5am, hungry and wet, she had to be up anyway to clean and feed; while brushing her teeth, dressing one handed and making sure her books were all packed- there is a reason why women are born multitaskers. God forbid that the baby feels sick at night. Then it's walking up and down rocking the child, trying to get it to keep quiet and stop screaming in her ear. Meanwhile, fielding complaints from the household to keep it down. All she could do is apologise and lie through her teeth that she'll get the baby quiet 'in a minute'. At least if she was living with the father, she could give him a glare should he complain about the noise, and inform him that it's his baby too!
House helps are a nightmare when there is a baby involved. Many won't stay for more than three months at a time, unless one is very lucky. The single parent has it twice as bad; Wanjiku* told us about how she went through six house helps in the space of three months. They seemed to go from bad to worse, with the first eating her out of house and home, so much so that her food budget doubled while the girl was around. Considering that her household was operating on a single income, and babies being the money pits they are in any case, she found that she had to let the help go. No sooner was she out than the neighbours were coming round to congratulate her on getting rid of the house help because apparently she was busy wooing the estate watchman using her food. It is said that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, and Wanjiku was finding that she paid for the privilege of facilitating others' romance. Of course it would have helped if her neighbours were a bit more forthcoming earlier - might have saved her a lot of money... the next house help managed to top that one by having a miscarriage on her sitting room floor, in front of her bemused child. Poor Wanjiku got a call from her neighbours to get home as soon as she could... and with visions of the house burned down with her child inside she dashed home to find a puddle of blood on her floor and her three year old child sitting on the stoop having a conversation with the doctor who luckily worked next door and had come to the rescue. To add insult to injury, the house help wanted her to pay for the doctor's bill. Clearly, this lady had Wanjiku confused with her husband, who Wanjiku promptly sent her to, urging them to sort their own problems out, she having had quite enough.
Dating and single parenthood don't mix. The logistics alone are mind boggling. The baby is home waiting with bated breath for its parent to come, the boss wants to squeeze every last ounce of productivity from the parent in the meantime; between exhaustion, time deficit and parenting - dating gets left by the wayside. Should the parent by chance come across someone who is willing to put up with all these shenanigans, then there is the problem of how to gel one's relationship with one's child. At one point should one introduce one's boyfriend or girlfriend to one's child? Karen*, who has a ten year old boy, has never introduced him to any of her boyfriends, who in any case never last very long because she can't spend the night over at their places, or stay out all night or hang out during the weekend. Furthermore, she does not like to invite them over because her son is old enough to understand what is going on, and like Caesar's wife, she prefers to appear above reproach. Anna-Lynne* on the other hand, tends to go to the other extreme, leaving her twin children for long periods with the house help. She has been known to disappear for entire weekends, or come home from the club with some random guy who she proceeds to 'host' for the weekend. The children take it all in their stride apparently, but at three years old, the boy still poops in his underwear. It's a delicate balancing act, requiring the skills of a circus acrobat and a seasoned politician to successfully negotiate.
Of course the biggest issue comes about when the child itself wants to know the whereabouts of the other parent. Many times, both parents may be present in the child's life, in that the child has met the other parent with whom he or she does not live, but other times, the other parent is simply completely absent, or sadly, dead. Dealing with this issue is something every aspiring single parent must be ready for. Ajuma's* four year old daughter had her appendix removed and while recuperating, she asked her mother where her father was. Ajuma showed her a photograph of him but the child seemed not to comprehend or connect the face in the photograph to her question. So Ajuma bit the bullet and called him; to his credit, he showed up, if only briefly, to be introduced to his child. From the child's reaction, Ajuma could see how much this meeting meant to her daughter, and decided that if she had to completely tie him to the fencepost, her child's father would be there for his child, as long as the child wanted him. Claire* ran into her seven year old daughter's aunt on the street, and asked her to inform her brother that his child was asking after him. The issue with Claire was that it was she who had chased the man away in the first place. Now she was asking him to come back and see his child. At the time of going to print, he had not yet gone. Unfortunately, the casualty is the child is it not? A big hand of applause to anyone who has successfully brought up a child. Much respect if you did it alone.

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Creating a Happy, Healthy, and Harmonious Home As Single Mom - Have a Bedtime Routine

The third in a three-part series

Hectic and hurried homes seem to be the norm these days. Establishing harmony at home is a challenge for the more than 10 million single mothers who are head-of-household for 18 million children. As the only adult you make decisions and lead the way for your children. Perhaps you came from a single parent family yourself and didn't have the home atmosphere that you desire for your children. If your home of origin was not a happy one creating a healthy and harmonious home may seem too far out of the realm of possibility. A few well-developed routines can make a difference and make what seems impossible a real possibility. Your children will grow up with memories of a stable home and will have the tools needed to create the home of their dreams.

At the end of your day you can create a routine that will build a sense of security and healthy family bonding. Your children will carry this with them and into their homes when they raise children of their own.

First have a bedtime. Announce thirty minutes before that it is "Thirty minutes to bedtime." Turn off the television, computers, video games, and cell phones. Have a list of pre-bedtime routines, such as, 1. bathe, 2. brush teeth, and 3. prepare clothes for next day. It is important to be consistent, no nagging. Just methodically go through the same steps each evening. This means, of course, that you too have to stop and be part of the process. Once everyone is ready for bed, cuddle up with pillows and stuffed animals and prepare for story time.

Read from a book that is appropriate for the age of your child. When children are preschool age read two or three of their choice of books. For school age children you may read one chapter each night from a book that interests them Always remember it isn't important that you are a great storyteller, but that you tell great stories. Choose classic fables, children's classics, and Bible stories. Keep it brief so there is time for discussion.

When my three were young I read from The Picture Bible each night. After several days of reading the stories of the Israelites troubles in the wilderness my son signed and said, "When will they ever get it?" A teachable like that occurs only when you allow time for it.

Give each child a few one-on-one minutes to talk about something positive as you tuck them in. A wonderful life-long habit of ending the day with gratitude is a great opportunity to establish a lasting and meaningful memory.

As exhausted as you may be, you may even fall asleep with your child, this routine will be a not only stabilizing force but a genuine character builder for your child.

Gail is a published author, a storyteller, a speaker, teacher and guide.
You may learn more about her on her website at http://www.gailshowalter.com/ and more about SMORE for Women, which she founded, at http://www.smoreforwomen.org/

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Single Motherhood Can Be a Comedy of Disasters

There is a certain glamour to being a single parent; or rather, a perceived glamour. On daytime talk shows such as The Oprah Winfrey Show and The Tyra Banks Show, there have been whole episodes dedicated to talking teenagers as young as thirteen out of having babies, because they think it's like having a Barbie doll, only that talks back. What they forget is that it also cries, pees, poops and refuses to sleep all night... and that's just for starters. I talked to some single parents who acquainted me with how it really is down there in the trenches.

There is a general agreement that having a child is one of the single greatest things a human being can do, and certainly being a parent is one of the most difficult yet rewarding jobs on earth. It can also make one prematurely grey, go completely mad or want to run down the street stark naked, screaming your lungs out. Angeline* is a single parent who had her child while still living with her parents, and attending college at the same time. She had to wake up at 5am to be on the road by 6am so as to arrive at school on time. Also, since the baby also woke up at 5am, hungry and wet, she had to be up anyway to clean and feed; while brushing her teeth, dressing one handed and making sure her books were all packed- there is a reason why women are born multitaskers. God forbid that the baby feels sick at night. Then it's walking up and down rocking the child, trying to get it to keep quiet and stop screaming in her ear. Meanwhile, fielding complaints from the household to keep it down. All she could do is apologise and lie through her teeth that she'll get the baby quiet 'in a minute'. At least if she was living with the father, she could give him a glare should he complain about the noise, and inform him that it's his baby too!

House helps are a nightmare when there is a baby involved. Many won't stay for more than three months at a time, unless one is very lucky. The single parent has it twice as bad; Wanjiku* told us about how she went through six house helps in the space of three months. They seemed to go from bad to worse, with the first eating her out of house and home, so much so that her food budget doubled while the girl was around. Considering that her household was operating on a single income, and babies being the money pits they are in any case, she found that she had to let the help go. No sooner was she out than the neighbours were coming round to congratulate her on getting rid of the house help because apparently she was busy wooing the estate watchman using her food. It is said that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, and Wanjiku was finding that she paid for the privilege of facilitating others' romance. Of course it would have helped if her neighbours were a bit more forthcoming earlier - might have saved her a lot of money... the next house help managed to top that one by having a miscarriage on her sitting room floor, in front of her bemused child. Poor Wanjiku got a call from her neighbours to get home as soon as she could... and with visions of the house burned down with her child inside she dashed home to find a puddle of blood on her floor and her three year old child sitting on the stoop having a conversation with the doctor who luckily worked next door and had come to the rescue. To add insult to injury, the house help wanted her to pay for the doctor's bill. Clearly, this lady had Wanjiku confused with her husband, who Wanjiku promptly sent her to, urging them to sort their own problems out, she having had quite enough.

Dating and single parenthood don't mix. The logistics alone are mind boggling. The baby is home waiting with bated breath for its parent to come, the boss wants to squeeze every last ounce of productivity from the parent in the meantime; between exhaustion, time deficit and parenting - dating gets left by the wayside. Should the parent by chance come across someone who is willing to put up with all these shenanigans, then there is the problem of how to gel one's relationship with one's child. At one point should one introduce one's boyfriend or girlfriend to one's child? Karen*, who has a ten year old boy, has never introduced him to any of her boyfriends, who in any case never last very long because she can't spend the night over at their places, or stay out all night or hang out during the weekend. Furthermore, she does not like to invite them over because her son is old enough to understand what is going on, and like Caesar's wife, she prefers to appear above reproach. Anna-Lynne* on the other hand, tends to go to the other extreme, leaving her twin children for long periods with the house help. She has been known to disappear for entire weekends, or come home from the club with some random guy who she proceeds to 'host' for the weekend. The children take it all in their stride apparently, but at three years old, the boy still poops in his underwear. It's a delicate balancing act, requiring the skills of a circus acrobat and a seasoned politician to successfully negotiate.

Of course the biggest issue comes about when the child itself wants to know the whereabouts of the other parent. Many times, both parents may be present in the child's life, in that the child has met the other parent with whom he or she does not live, but other times, the other parent is simply completely absent, or sadly, dead. Dealing with this issue is something every aspiring single parent must be ready for. Ajuma's* four year old daughter had her appendix removed and while recuperating, she asked her mother where her father was. Ajuma showed her a photograph of him but the child seemed not to comprehend or connect the face in the photograph to her question. So Ajuma bit the bullet and called him; to his credit, he showed up, if only briefly, to be introduced to his child. From the child's reaction, Ajuma could see how much this meeting meant to her daughter, and decided that if she had to completely tie him to the fencepost, her child's father would be there for his child, as long as the child wanted him. Claire* ran into her seven year old daughter's aunt on the street, and asked her to inform her brother that his child was asking after him. The issue with Claire was that it was she who had chased the man away in the first place. Now she was asking him to come back and see his child. At the time of going to print, he had not yet gone. Unfortunately, the casualty is the child is it not? A big hand of applause to anyone who has successfully brought up a child. Much respect if you did it alone.

*names have been changed to protect identities.

Annemarie Musawale
Creativity Defined.
http://about.me/annemariemusawale
Need a writer? get in touch.

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10 Tips for Single Mothers

In this article I am going to present some tips for all single mothers to make their life less hectic and better managed.

1. Set Your Priorities: Pick out the top five most important things from your life such as taking care of your children, focusing on your job, dating, managing relationships with family and friends, handling stress, taking care of your own health, setting visitation timings for the father or getting child support from him. Setting priorities help you focus and move towards your goals.

2. Get Focused on Your Goal: Setting goals can be a very fruitful activity because they help you keep on track. Your goal will keep your mind busy so that you don't end up in the never-ending swirl of 'what if's'.

3. Reflect and Learn: Think about your past in an effective way. Do not try to put the blame on anybody else and think about how you played a role in your divorce or ending of your relationship with your boyfriend. Then identify your mistakes and learn from them.

4. Seek Support: Do not try to act like you can handle it yourself. No one can. Seek support from family members who will understand your situation and remind you that you are not alone in this. Also, you can join support groups for single mothers.

5. Bond With Your Children: Try to involve yourself in fun activities with your children. Go to amusement parks or movies with them or surprise them with a classy dinner.

6. Meditate: Take out time to exercise yoga or pray because these things are important for soul rejuvenation.

7. Think of Your Child's Future: Whenever you feel like you cannot carry on, rouse that motherly spirit inside you and tell yourself you have to live and work so that your child can get a good life.

8. Let Go of Unyielding Strategies: Do not be persistent to the extent of being rigid. If something is not working for you, just let it go and try something else.

9. Revitalize and Regain Confidence In Yourself: Try to involve in social activities which help you revitalize e.g. go on a shopping spree with your friends. Also, try making changes to the setting of your house to induce a fresh feeling.

10. Find Your Strengths and Weaknesses: Once you are able to positively identify your strengths and weaknesses, hold onto your strengths and try to fight your weaknesses.

James Johnson is an expert online author and internet marketing specialist from the UK.

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