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Helping to Solve The Financial Challenges of the Working Mother



A recent study by ChildCare Aware of America, a childcare research and advocacy group, appears to indicate that childcare is becoming at least as expensive as in-state college tuitions in most instances (The Christian Science Monitor, Childcare cost: Day care expense rivals college cost, fuels social problems, August 23, 2012). The study found that childcare payments equaled more than annual median rent payments in 22 states. In some of the more expensive states the payments are more than half the median incomes of single moms. The article made the argument that having a baby greatly increased the likelihood that the mother would transition into poverty. I have had several personal experiences with mothers in similar circumstances. in several cases these mothers realized that maintaining their job was costing them money when all the associated costs of working outside the home were factored in. In many cases, these parents had been so used to having a job outside the home that they felt they had to work, even when the practice was harming their families finances.

In my own personal situation my wife and I started our family while we were both working full-time jobs. I have been a law enforcement officer for my entire professional life, while my wife achieved her Master's Degree in Park and Recreational Management. My wife spent the first 7 years of our marriage working in county and state park systems as a park ranger and assistant park manager. We had our first child and determined we did not want anyone else raising our child. As a result, we split our days off and our shifts to ensure that our daughter was rarely with anyone other than one of us.

Due to circumstances outside of our control my wife found herself in an untenable situation at her last job with a state park system. Her misery with her circumstances began to affect her and our marriage. When I showed up one day to her job with a picnic basket and our beautiful infant daughter, I found her crying and in a state of significant distress. Realizing that things weren't going to get any better for her, I told her that day to walk away from her unhappy situation. Her immediate response was, "we can't afford it." I told her that whatever it took I would figure out a way to keep her home.

We made some sacrifices, keeping in mind that our ultimate goal was to create a situation where she could manage the house and raise our child while I earned the money we needed to survive. I will be honest and declare that it was initially very difficult (macaroni and cheese was on the menu). Our income was cut by approximately a third, but we were determined to make this work. I took on a steady off-duty job to supplement our bank account, and a year later I was promoted. Prior to the promotion and the additional pay, however, we had already managed to adapt to our situation. We sold one of our cars, let go of the lady cleaning our house and eliminated the babysitter we were using on occasion. In the end the impact of our income loss was mitigated to the point we wondered why we had not brought her home sooner. We eventually had our second child (my wonderful son and future guitar partner). This was my first experience with the idea that if you want something bad enough (you have a big enough "why"), the "how" will work itself out.

One of the unintended consequences of having a family was that my wife developed several health issues. As a result of both pregnancies, my wife developed preeclampsia and the H.E.L.P. Syndrome. These complications required that my wife to be induced early with each child. In addition, the pregnancies caused my wife to develop a thyroid condition that adversely affected several of the systems in her body and resulted in significant weight gain. My wife was a rough and tumble park ranger when I first met her. She would come home completely black, covered in soot from fighting a park fire. She had been on camping trips in Costa Rica where she did not take showers for weeks.

Those days were long past.

My wife was now very concerned with her appearance. She liked to have her hair and nails done; she liked to dress nice; and she would not go anywhere near a campground unless there were cabins with running water, a cosmetic mirror and a place to plug in a hair dryer. The weight gain she experienced, therefore, had a significantly negative impact on her self-image. She was working out 4-5 days a week and was working very hard at eating a healthy diet. Nothing seemed to work. I was careful not to mention her weight and honestly expressed to her that she was my standard of beauty. What I failed to understand, however, was that my wifes focus on her appearance transended vanity. Instead, my wifes concerns were that her appearance was a reflection of her health and that she was not setting the proper example for her family. It was from this desperate place that she found her salvation.

My wife's desperation created a "why" that needed to be answered and she found it through the parent of one of my daughters friends. During a conversation with this woman my wife stated that she was willing to try anything short of surgery or drugs to solve her problem. This friend explained that she was an associate with a residual income business that dealt with health and wellness. She went on to say that the program might be exactly what my wife was looking for. My wife was preparing for a trip back to Wisconsin for her high school reunion. This has always been an important event for my wife, and it served as further motivation to try the program (another "why").

This was an event significant to my wife, and ultimately significant to my entire family for many reasons. The program provided amazing results to my wife and she became an instant believer. Furthermore, she began to draw a crowd. Everyone who ever knew her when she was heavy wanted to know what she had done to achieve such amazing weight loss success! It didn't hurt that my wife was excited to tell people about the program, not yet realizing that she was already doing the job of a network marketer without getting paid for it... yet.

When my wife came to understand that simply telling someone about her success could be transitioned into a successful business we began our venture down the path to financial independence. She quickly achieved a salary in excess of what she would have been making had she remained with the park service. An even greater benefit was realized when it became apparent the money would continue to come in even when we were on vacation sitting on a beach (one of the many benefits of a residual income).

It took several months for me to try the program, but I eventually acquiesced and experienced similar results. I did not have as much weight to lose, but I achieved a level of fitness that I had not seen in years!

My wife and I now attend yearly events sponsored by our network marketing company. It never ceases to amaze me when I look around and see the thousands of people in attendance, cheering new products or new tools intended to make it easier to run our business. I love to listen to the stories of others on stage telling about the "why" that brought them to network marketing. Many of these stories express histories that started out more tragic and perilous than our own. Single mothers tell stories about sick children and bankruptcies. Husbands and wives talk of losing their only source of income to a bad economy and a concern for how they are going to feed their family or pay their bills. All of these stories end the same way. One or both of the spouses discovered network marketing and were able to achieve financial freedom for themselves and their future generations. They talk about not having to worry about college tuition or paying medical bills. They speak of amazing adventures and wonderful vacations all paid for through a residual income... sometimes earning enough residual income during the trip to pay for the trip. All of the speakers share one thing in common. They all discovered a big enough "why" to push them to realize their hopes and dreams.

What does this have to do with childcare and working mothers? How many mothers wish they didn't have to leave their kids off with complete strangers? How many wish they could be there for their child's first steps? How many wish they did not have to cut their salary in half to pay for childcare before they even make another dime to pay the rest of their bills? Residual income provides for all of these opportunities and potentially much, much more! Is that a big enough "why" to get you started? Is it at least enough to start you asking questions? Find a company you can be passionate about and use that passion to change your life.

Bruce Westberg and his wife Tamara have been successful network marketers with Isagenix International since 2006. As Isagenix Independant Associates they have discovered a path to a healthier lifie and financial independance for themselves and their children. They are the webmasters to http://www.cleansebenefits.com/.


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The Weekly Compass - How Many Hats Do You Wear?



Roles and Priorities

When you think of the roles you play, it can often change from day to day, sometimes several times a day. How do we prioritize our days when we wear so many different hats? We are mothers, wives, daughters, friends, employees, citizens, volunteers, aunts, sisters, etc. By focusing more on relationships than on to do lists, we are telling the people around us that they are the most important thing to us because our ACTIONS will show it.

The Weekly Compass

The weekly compass is what Stephen Covey writes about in his book, First Things First. It is a method I have been using for about 3 years now to keep my priorities in order on a weekly basis. A compass gives your life direction and focus. It is different than the clock, which tracks the time and things we do within that time frame.

The weekly compass works like this:

Every weekend, usually sometime between late Friday afternoon and Sunday night I schedule a "meeting with me". My family knows that when they see me pick up my red zipper Daytimer planner, that I'm off to Starbucks for a couple of hours to set my compass for the following week.

Sharpen your saw:

The principle of sharpening the saw comes right out of scripture

"If the ax is dull and its edge unsharpened, more strength is needed but skill will bring success." Eccl. 10:10

The idea is that if we are not growing as a person and continually working on areas of our lives to improve, we are not best able to give to others. If our cup is continually empty, then we won't have anything to give others. In order to sharpen your own saw, pick ONE thing you will do THIS week to improve your life in the areas of

· Physical

· Social / Emotional

· Mental

· Spiritual

After you have identified those areas, then write down seven roles (or HATS) you will wear THIS week. The hats may change from week to week, but it's recommended that you don't put on more than seven in one week so you can FOCUS.

My ROLES for this week are:

Wife

Mom

Teacher

Writer

Friend

Daughter

Entrepreneur

The NEXT step is for me to look at each role and ask myself ONE question.

What's the most important thing I can do in this role this week?

Pick ONE thing. Not three or four, just one. Write it down. This is what Covey calls, your BIG rocks. If you are filling up a jar with large rocks and small rocks and you first put all the small rocks into the jar, you will not fit the large rocks in. Your ONE thing you wrote down is your BIG ROCK. Put those in your jar first, then all the little rocks will fit into place. If you are intentional about adding value into the lives of others, then all the thousands of "to-dos" will fall in to place as needed. Relationships are the most important things in life, with God and others. Take some time to write out your own weekly compass!

Erin C. Lichnovsky is V.P. of Program Development for PACES PAideia, works as social media manager, special events coordinator, and blogger for http://callmom.co/ and http://thelaundrymoms.com/. Married 20 years, mother to eight, co-owner of Parenting and Leadership Education.


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The Trend Towards Cohabitation and Unmarried Pregnancies



A century ago, the word cohabitation wouldn't even have existed yet, and the concept behind it would have been totally rejected by a much stricter code of living. An unmarried pregnancy, even without cohabitation, would have brought immense shame on the girl and her family. However, times have changed, and even just the past decade has shown a dramatic rise in both cohabitation and cohabitation births. Although older generations still frown on the practice, many young people and celebrities still find it to be a practical lifestyle. Moral values have shifted in our country for a large percent of the population. Maybe it's time we all tried to understand what we can't change.

If you like, you can start by blaming the times we live in for the huge jump in the number of unmarried couples who are living together. We've been in a recession for a number of years now, and the cost of living just keeps going up. Financially, it makes sense for couples to live in one domicile rather than trying to pay for two. In addition, with widespread unemployment, a way unemployed or underemployed people cope is by sharing their expenses with another person. So why shouldn't that person be their lover rather than just a friend? To many this seems to be the only logical choice.

There is no longer great social stigma placed on couples living together and having children out of wedlock, and the trend is growing. Whereas it used to be that most couples who lived together had little education, now more couples with high school, and even college, diplomas are choosing a life together without benefit of nuptials. The statistics do vary by race, however. With only 18% cohabitation, African American women are less likely to cohabit, but the first child birth rate among unmarried women stands at 80%. Hispanics are next with only 30% of them living together and a birth rate of 53%. With whites, 20% cohabit with a birth rate of 34%. Asians rank last with only 7% cohabiting and a birth rate of 13%. Obviously culture plays a major part in the thinking.

With the percentage of first births to cohabiting women increasing from 9% in 1985 to 27% by 2010, this looks like a trend that will continue to rise. Although most of the couples involved say they would prefer to have been married prior to producing their first child, the new trends appear to be a sign of the times that is going to continue. Although it may seem like these couples are showing a lack of commitment to each other and to their children, many of them actually stay together longer than their counterparts who did get married.

Find out how to stop a divorce at: Stop My Divorce or here: Stop Your Divorce.


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The Best Organizing Twin Bag



Good Morning!

Today's article is coming after spending 4 days in Atlanta attending the Thirty - One National Conference. This conference was not only amazing on a personal level but on a team level as well.

I want to share with you different things I learned about the company and their mission as well as one of the top products we have.

Arriving in Atlanta, I was already feeling a little overwhelmed having just spent 6 hours in airports and planes getting to the conference. Then, I received my welcome packet and started pouring through the information we were about to learn over the upcoming days.

I was also pleasantly reminded that the company was named after Proverbs 31, The Virtuous Women. And as a mom of twins, this is a verse that is always welcomed in my life.

There were different classes to attend, general sessions, guest speakers, and the fall catalog premier (which is amazing), providing way more information than we could absorb in a two and a half day time frame.

While I can't disclose all the new products yet, I will tell you, one of my favorite new pieces takes an existing piece a step further. Many of my clients have told me how they can not imagine life without the large utility tote and I am here to tell you, after September 1st, YOU aren't going to know how you lived without it either.

This one organizing twin bag can function in so many different parts of your house and life. Let me ask you this, do your twins have a toy room that needs organized? A double closet that could stand a make over? Some place to put all the twins towels, sunscreen, and clothes for the pool or beach? This bag, can do ALL of that and more.

In our house, you can see 3 large utility totes in use at any given time. One is holding coloring papers and markers, one is being used for playdoh and all the pieces we have for that activity and one is packed by the door ready to go to the trunk or pool, stocked with towels, clothes, water tools, and sunscreen.

So, what are you waiting for, get yours today so you are prepared for next month when the new products are revealed.

Anytime you can get away and focus on yourself, your business, and your family at the same time is a wonderful experience. I encourage you to read Proverbs 31 and think about how it relates to your life with twins.

Happy Organizing and Playing!

Kristen

Oh, and by the way, it comes in thirteen different patterns AND it can be personalized!

Kristen Russell is a work at home mom and elementary educator who spent the last 11 years educating children in public and private schools. She is a down to earth mom who exposes how important quality time and values are along with how to make learning a fun experience for both the children and parents. She is transitioning from teaching in the schools to one of the best positions in the world, staying a stay at home mom. Get the Free Report: Biggest Mistake in Raising Twins! Don't Let This Be YOU! NOW at http://www.thedoublescoop.com/


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The Proper Way of Breastfeeding



Breastfeeding is one of the most natural things a mother would experience after giving birth. It is the safest and best milk she can offer to her baby. Just what nutritionist experts have said "Breast milk is still best for Babies up to two years and beyond" Several mothers may experience difficulties or strange feelings during the early stage of the sessions of breastfeeding to their babies, increased anxiety and constant worry for them thinking if she could produce enough milk but eventually they will soon be used to it. Breastfeeding may take around 20 to 45 minutes per session for the first three months of a new born baby.

There are lots of benefits for the infant, greater immune health through breastfeeding about 0.25-0.5 grams per day IgA antibodies go by through milk. Colostrums are one of the most important feature breast milk formed for babies. It also contains several anti-infective factors such as protecting amoebic infections, and inhibiting growth of intestinal bacteria.

Studies show that breastfeed infants include a lower risk of infections than those non-breastfeed infants. It also reduces sudden death syndrome because infants have improved stimulation from nap at 2 to 3 months. Less diabetes, infants completely breastfeed contain a fewer possibility of developing diabetes mellitus than peers by means of a shorter period of breastfeeding and prior exposure to an formulated cow's milk.

Maternal bond are strengthen during the breastfeeding period because of the released of the hormones. World Health Organization (WHO) recommend breastfeeding for the baby's up to six months of their life and continued feeding with appropriate foods up to two years old and beyond. It is the best food for the baby for it provides complete nourishments. It is also very convenient and affordable for the mother to breastfeed their babies. Babies who are breastfeed are more active, smart, intelligent, they also have good teeth and because of the time spend by mothers to their babies bonding are intact, closeness to their parents as they grow older. A baby feels that they are cared and loved. Mothers are enjoying taking care of their babies at the same time they are also providing and protecting their babies free from sickness.

The following tips are the proper way to breastfeed your child:

• It is important to be at ease, calm and be ready. Make sure that the room is comfortable for the said activity/session. You have to move away if the room is crowded, or if it is cold get additional blanket. Once all set, be certain to make use of a comfortable chair to provide a firm support. Lying down may be also suggested.

• The baby needs to be comfortable as well, for you as a mother to check the right position if it is sitting or lying down. It might be stressful for the baby that he may refuse to suck your nipples. He feels aware if your body is anxious or if it is calm.

• Placing pillows behind your back and under the arm for a relaxed position when you breastfeed your baby is the most common breastfeeding position. Your baby's head should rest on your hand and other hand over the baby's thighs or buttocks.

• To maintain its position child's face must be in front of your chest so it will be comfortable while sucking. Let your nipple touch the baby's cheek, automatically the baby will turn his face towards where the touch came; the baby will open his/her mouth to suck its milk.

• Letting the baby know that it is routing time for his breastfeeding. Feeding the baby regularly as he grows a bit older, will help regulate and be at ease between meals.

It is how you offer your breast, proper sitting, and how you hold your little ones affect them on how they suck properly. This fact shows how you will be relaxed and comfortable during breastfeeding.

Is presently working as virtual assistant and working at home.


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Staying At Home Mom Tips For A Better Life



Mildred B. Vermont said and I quote: "Being a full-time mother is one of the highest salaried jobs in my field, since the payment is pure love." I agree with her, pure love or more specifically emotions are a much better reward than money since that last one is easily spent, lost or stolen when feelings can grow deeper and stronger through time. Being a mother is a gift that we should all cherish and learn to enjoy every minute spent with our children. Nevertheless in this article I am trying to underline the hard life a staying at home mother could be leading and I chose to write about that since I am one of them. I have been so tired from running around all day that I am not sure if I still know how to appreciate motherhood anymore. Raising children is a very hard task maybe the hardest. And we need to have very good skills up our sleeves to be able to manage taking care of these children, alone, without any help. And when you are a staying at home mom you have to add the fact that you are stuck at home most of the time, you don't get to interact with people as often as working mothers do, your social life is nearly dead and you find yourself eventually drowned in loneliness. And this could be the shot of mercy! That is why I came up with few tips to help myself, first, and every staying at home mother lead a fair relaxing life with children.

1- Friends: Don't let your life and your marriage push you away from you friends. To survive you need to socialize, to have acquaintances, someone you could go out with for a cup of coffee or plan a game of poker! Someone you could talk to when you find yourself miserable. It is beautiful to have your husband as your best friend but sometimes you might need a good friend to talk to about your marital problems and in that case your spouse won't be a good choice. And you don't want to find yourself alone in such hard time cause then you will feel petrified!

2- Time Out: Yes you do need that and you know it! But when can you squeeze that break when you have to cook, clean, run errands, spend time with your kids, bathe them, read them a story, and last but not least take care of your own hygiene, and - yes- get some sleep! And we forgot to mention your love life. So in general your day is similar to a crazy journey at a kids' fair. Time Out! Cancel one of your tasks and take a time off: you can read a little, have a cup of coffee or just lay down idly watching television or thinking blank. It doesn't matter how you spend your break but it is important to have a small time during the day to breathe and relax.

3- Plan an outing: Once a week get a baby sitter and get out from that crazy mansion. You could plan a day out with your significant other, lunch with your friends or just a lonely outing to run away from your troubles. Details don't matter, what is important is for you to have the chance, once a week, to relax from running after the kids all day and have a day for yourself.

Pamper yourself mother you deserve it!

If you follow these tips I guarantee you a smoother life as staying at home mother. So please try your best and remember that even though a staying at home mother is the most restless non profitable job in the world and even if every time or so you wish you were able to quit remember that it's the best job in the world cause your boss are your children and they love you unconditionally. It's true that you're not getting materially paid but your building for what's more important and that is a long, strong, intimate relationship with your children that will last longer than anything money could buy and it has an increasing value over the time. Be happy you're a staying at home mom.

Maria El-Aaraj creator of How To Be Super Mom http://www.mariasupermom.blogspot.com/ and writer of parenting articles, recipes and kids crafts. You might be interested in checking one of her most popular articles


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The Myth of 'Baby Brain'



Introduction

One of the common things pregnant women and new mothers complain about is that they have developed 'Baby Brain' (sometimes known as 'Nappy Brain') - the seeming inability to function as the rational, logical human being they were BEFORE they conceived. But there IS a good reason for this apparent 'loss' of brain function, you'll be glad to know!

To begin to understand why this happens, we need to look a little bit at the structure of the brain as science currently believes it to be. Any neurologists reading this article can just skip the next bit! To anyone who ISN'T a neurologist; I promise, I'll make this as painless as possible...

Brain Science Made Simple!

A healthy adult brain consists of two sides (known as hemispheres), and a collection of tissue between the two hemispheres that links them together, called the corpus callosum. When a baby is born, its brain is not fully formed. During the first year after birth, a baby's brain develops at the SAME rate as it did before the birth, and the corpus callosum is not fully developed until about 3 years old.

The two sides of the brain process information in different but equally vital ways. The left side of the brain deals with the logical, rational, linear, linguistic etc, information we receive and the right hemisphere deals with the intuitive, creative, body language etc. It registers painful feelings and picks up emotional atmospheres. It has much stronger links with the body than the left hemisphere so can quickly register how your body is coping with an emotional event.

The corpus callosum, when fully developed, allows communication between the two hemispheres. But until this time, babies and young children do not have the words (a left-brained function) to explain their feelings (a right-brained function). They have no real left-brain activity until they reach 3 years old, so need to use their instincts/intuition to survive and their body language to communicate their needs to their care givers.

Hormones

OK, the lesson in brain science is over. Now there's one more thing we need to understand, and that's hormones and how they change during pregnancy and birth. One of the key hormones is oxytocin. Oxytocin is the hormone that makes us feel love (of ANY kind, not just the love we feel for our babies) and is at its highest levels when we fall in love, during love-making, during labour and birth, and when we are breastfeeding. A good way to remember its functions is to remember it's the hormone of the 3 L's - labour, love and lactation! Another useful way to remember what it does is "tend and be friend" (a bit like the good old "fight, freeze or flight" for another hormone, adrenaline). Incidentally, the level of oxytocin also rises when we share food with somebody else, hence the importance of sitting together for meals in creating and maintaining strong family bonds.

Mothers are in their Right Minds!

Before pregnancy, particularly in our Western culture, the focus of our adult brain largely tends to be on the left - the logical, linguistic side. But when we become pregnant, our brain focus tends to start naturally shifting to adapt us to use the right side more. The way this happens is that oxytocin works to muffle the left-brain so the right-brain can take over more. This is a necessary part of beginning the transition to parenthood and is vital for nurturing. As already stated, babies and young children do not have a fully developed left-brain until about 3, which is why you can't reason with a toddler, particularly a tantruming one!! Therefore, in order to be able to nurture our babies and toddlers, and understand their needs, we need to have our instinctive antennae for body language and other non-verbal behaviour tuned into our child's frequency, which means using our right brain much more.

This shift can be disconcerting for women if they are left-brain dominant - particularly as having 'baby-brain' tends to have negative connotations; we never hear anyone say "Wow, I'm so forgetful today! Must be my right brain taking over so I can tune into my baby better!" This shift isn't permanent, but will remain whilst our children are young. Eventually, we can even switch brain dominance during the course of a day, allowing women to function in their pre-pregnant left brain state whilst, say, at work. But switch back to their right brain state when they are back with their children.

Ultimately then, it's not so much that our brains decline, but that we spontaneously shift the focus of our brain to become intuitive, nurturing mothers. So the next time you feel less than logical, instead of berating yourself, simply remember that you're actually in your 'right mind' and that you're instinctively doing exactly what you need to do to be the best mother to your baby!!

Further Reading

Margot Sunderland - What Every Parent Needs to Know, published by Dorling Kindersley (2007)

Michel Odent - Birth and Breastfeeding, published by Clairview (2003)

Michel Odent - The Caesarean, published by Free Association Books (2004)

Dr Sarah Buckley - Gentle Birth, Gentle Mothering, published by One Moon Press, Australia (2005)

For more resources on living a more holistic lifestyle, spirituality, and personal growth and development, go to http://www.arlette.co.uk/


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