I'm Sorry, I'm A Woman: The "Crying" Game

So I was watching a television show today & it awakened the thinking bug in me. Now my juices are flowing & I have to bring up something that has been bothering me for a while now. There were two ladies on the TV show who were talking about the difficulties of juggling new motherhood, "Wife-Life" (as I so fondly deem marital bliss) & their careers. Then one of them, the new mom, broke down in tears because she felt that she wasn't enjoying being a new mom because all of her responsibilities were keeping her from being able to slow down & take a baby breather, slowly adjusting to her new role. But here's the thing that bothered me, and we all do it too... she apologized for crying. She apologized a couple of times actually, while she explained away her tears to her friend.

As I felt my own tears welling up in my eyes (because c'mon, you know we moms have been there), in mid-sniffle, I realized something. Why was this beautiful, accomplished new momma apologizing for crying? She has EVERY right to cry, she just had a baby, for crying out loud! She's worrying about: breastfeeding on time, sleep schedules, pumping milk, getting back to her career after her maternity hiatus, appearing sexy to her hubby again, finding time to do "the do" with her hubby, and then getting her home in order, the laundry done, the pets groomed, etc. As a matter of fact, if she wasn't crying, I'd be worried. So why apologize for showing emotions, especially to another woman?

Getting deeper into my thoughts at this point, I realized that, as a woman who cries at the drop of a hat (no, seriously, I do) and as a mom & wife & pet owner & entrepreneur, I know what its like to feel overwhelmed. It's not just a mom thing, though. I tend to think that all women get harried at the prospect of their hectic lives and the insurmountable tasks that loom before them, needing to be done a.s.a.p & simultaneously AND PERFECTLY.

But since I AM a mother, I'm going to focus on us mommas right now. Why is it, that as a woman, I am expected not to utilize all of the perks that come with that title? After all, the whole women's lib movement was birthed out of the fact that women were seen as the 'weaker' sex. It was proposed that we were the gentler, sweeter half of the human race & therefore should be treated accordingly. Now I'm not condoning all pre- women's liberation-attitudes... albeit, not wholly. I agree with some gals who think that in asserting our independence, we've also slid under the rug our femininity, which grants us the privilege of the "little things". What are the little things, you ask? Well, crying at the drop of a hat, for one. Being emotional, high-strung beauties, was our role in the past, and while I don't condone flitting around like a chicken with it's head cut off & acting nonsensical, I do think that we should have the right to display our emotions at will. We don't have to replace the "I am woman, hear me roar" saying, but maybe we can make an addendum and add "... or cry".

Other niceties that are now pegged "old school" for a man to afford a female are: holding the door open for us, holding our hands, picking up the check at dinner, taking off their hats around us, letting us walk on the inside of the sidewalk when walking down the street with us. When a guy does all of those things, women go insane & label them a great guy, when this is the treatment that men should be granting us anyway because we are ladies.

Being a lady, one should be able to express emotion at random, don't ya think?

And being a woman, we certainly shouldn't be apologizing for displaying those great qualities that make us the femi-feminists we were born to be. In other words, I have the choice & the right to be a lady & show off any form of my femininity at all times. And yes, as moms that right comes with the territory. Cry if you need to. Be late if you need to, because your little one pooped in their outfit right before you were leaving the house for a play-date. Laugh out loud at nothing because your life is so crazy that if you don't laugh for a minute right now, you'll be laughing for years in an asylum. Get angry at your kiddo in public & threaten them with NO TV in front of the entire supermarket. I am a phone call or email away if you need someone to back you up to complete strangers in the potato chips aisle.

Ladies, let's stop trying to match up with everyone's idea of the perfect mom or woman and just be yourselves. Because guess, what? It's who God meant us to be. So the next time you feel like breaking down & sobbing in your SUV because your laundry room looks like a mini landfill, your pets have chewed or peed on your sofa, your little one is screaming for chicken nuggets in the backseat while your hubby asks you on the phone to buy a car thingy that you have no idea what it is or where to purchase it... do it. Cry, sob, scream, laugh like Daffy duck, turn the music up & dance, turn on the DVD player & let your kiddos zone out to cartoons & just be a woman! Who cares who is looking? Blame it on your cycle, your birth control, or menopause (yes, even if your 20 years old).

So no more apologizing for being a female, gals. Embrace your irrationality & your hormones. Flaunt your feelings as you would an economical (but HOT) outfit or a new pair of heels. Tell your hubby where he can go if he looks at you wrong (just kidding... maybe) & strut your stuff, because when you're a woman, you have options. We are women, hear us roar... or cry.

@ 2012 Michelle S. Dowell

About Me:

I'm Michelle, owner of Ruffles Ribbons N' Bows Boutique on Etsy & mom to a 4-year-old boy & 4 crazy cats. My hubby & BFF of almost 7 years is my biggest supporter, encouraging me to keep at my craft. I am currently writing a period-play set in 1939, two novels, & a children's book series. We reside in Frisco, TX. I'm inspired by Harvey the White Rabbit & Elwood P. Dowd to always remain myself.

Article Resource Sites:

Here are some awesome sites that further expound on some of my article's sentiments:
http://www.womenshealthmag.com/health/good-to-cry
http://blog.kyria.com/giftedforleadership/2007/11/what_our_femininity_means.html
Thanks for reading & be Blessed!:)

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